The Power of Relationships For Your Mental Health
Close relationships are vital to our health in ways we may not realize every day. We do notice how good it feels to be praised by a loved one, to get a comforting hug or reassurance in times of sadness, and to be cheered on by our friends and family. But just how much power do these relationships have on our emotional health? Although there is always more research to be done, scientists studying the effects of relationships on mental health have established that social connection plays a vital role in improving emotional well-being, with disconnection having sometimes severe negative repercussions.
Social Connection and Why We Need It
Much of the research conducted on how relationships impact our mental health have taken up one of three models to overlay specific processes in interpersonal relationships: (a) evolutionary approaches, (b) attachment theory, and (c) interdependence theory. Within the context of an evolutionary approach, humans have developed a basic need for social connection stemming from the need for survival and reproduction. When an individual is disconnected from social support, it becomes painful as it directly counters this fundamental need. In attachment theory, we see the ways in which individuals’ historic interactions with primary caregivers (attachment figures) significantly shapes their ongoing ability to regulate their emotions and behavior, form new attachments and social supports, provide care to others, and elicit opportunities for personal growth and meaning in future relationships. Interdependence theory focuses more acutely on a micro-level interactions between those in relationships, in which they dynamically influence each other’s health and emotional outcomes.
In the context of stressful life events
In times of stress, close relationships help buffer the individual from the negative effects of adversity, protecting health and promoting recovery and resilience. These relationships become a haven for comfort and support, security, and aid in difficult times. So much so, that researchers have created the terms safe haven support or source of strength support to describe this particular relationship dynamic.
Within safe haven support, individuals receive numerous physical and mental health benefits. Research has shown impacts ranging from decreased cardiovascular and cortisol reactivity, to reduced susceptibility to infection and illness, especially in times of stress. The mental health benefits are just as astounding. Individuals who have supportive and close relationships when facing adversity tend to appraise the physical world as less daunting and have reduced perceptions of pain. These relationships facilitate emotional recovery from acute stressors, increasing implicit safety signals in the brain and reducing the perception of threat. Can you imagine for a moment what this could mean for you and your loved ones when facing hardship?
Research does also purport the understanding that the quality of the support is incredibly important. The best form of relational support is sensitive and responsive to the recipient’s needs, goals, and preferences. It is non-evaluative and leads the recipient to feel understood, validated, and cared for. This also applies to the symbolic presence of a supportive relationship. Think back to times where you’ve carried a ring that belonged to your loving mother, wore your dad’s favorite leather jacket, or flipped through a scrapbook of you and your best friends. Did you feel happy, loved, and confident? It is not enough to merely have a relationship, but the quality of the support these individuals bring to your life in times of stress makes all the difference.
In the context of positive life events
Although we may tend to focus on the stress-buffering effects of social relationships, there are also significant impacts found on positive life events, exploration, and goal-striving. Research has emphasized the health benefits of social support in non-stressful times, as it helps individuals enhance their positive well-being. Scientists have created the terms secure base support or relational catalyst support to describe this aspect of relationships.
The support processes of celebrating positive life events with others, known as capitalization, increases the health-promoting effects of positive emotion, leisure, and personal strengths. When an individual receives social support, for example, from a romantic partner, they are more likely to orient toward goal success and personal growth. The partner’s support of their aspirations makes the individual more likely achieve said goal! This is important because the successful pursuit of meaningful goals has significant predictive factors on subjective well-being, and this in turn is predictive of overall health outcomes. Secure base support and capitalization also build trust, intimacy, and the perceived responsiveness and availability of support. These factors have been linked closely with morbidity and mortality.
Much like social support in times of stress, the quality of secure base support is of importance as well. Rather than dismissive, passive, or destructive responses, effective support should be active and constructive (e.g., showing enthusiasm or pride). In having this quality of social support, individuals are able to experience the emotional and physical benefits of positive affect. These close relationships also allow for individuals to build upon personal fortitudes such as self-worth, self-efficacy, and perceived control, all of which enhance adaptive coping in times of adversity.
In the context of intimacy, love, and affection
Humans, having a fundamental need for attachment and belonging, do better when they feel intimately connected to others. This intimacy can develop in any interaction where one feels understood, accepted, and cared for. An important factor in intimacy is the perception of the degree to which the partner understands, validates, and cares for us. This has been coined perceived partner responsiveness. The stronger the perceived partner responsiveness, the more an individual experiences core validation of the self, feelings of warmth, acceptance, and belonging. These experiences have shown significant implications on both psychosocial and physiological outcomes.
Individuals experiencing intimacy in their social relationships have shown less physical symptoms, better sleep quality, and healthier cortisol profiles, to name a few of the physical health benefits. On the mental health side, they also experience higher vitality and life satisfaction, declines in negative affect, and reduced emotional reactivity to daily stressors. In a long-term study of couples, those with higher levels of emotional intimacy were more likely to report satisfaction in their marriage and less likely to divorce. This is important, knowing that divorce has implications on increased risk for mortality and depression.
If you’re interested in the neuropsychological impacts, individuals who experienced social acceptance (vs. rejection) by a romantic partner showed activation in the opioid receptors of the brain, related to reward, positive affect, and higher tolerance for pain. Just viewing a picture of their partner activated brain regions associated with attachment and reward, and other regions associated with mood and pain regulation. Love and even thinking about those you love, boosts our mood and energy. We cannot forget the growing evidence for physical touch and intimacy as well. Research has shown that partners who regularly engage in physical touch had lower cortisol levels than those who did not, and from one day to the next, physical symptoms decreased if partners had experienced increased intimacy the day prior. So the next time you see your spouse, give them a big hug, a kiss, or hold their hand!
What Do I Do Now?
It’s hard to negate the significance that social relationships have on both our mental and physical health. From cardiovascular and cortisol implications, to increases in our sense of belonging, self-worth, and personal growth - social relationships are imperative.
If you’re struggling with forming or sustaining close relationships, look deeper at the quality of these connections and ways in which you may strengthen them. Take time to spend time with those individuals with whom you have relationships and reach out for support in times of adversity. Create intimacy with deeper conversations, hold your partner’s hand when you walk down the sidewalk, and never leave the house without a hug.
Demut Counseling & Consultation provides individual services for couples and families wanting brief consultation to strengthen their relationships and will soon provide self-guided, online programs for couples. Contact us today to set up your consultation session, or stay-tuned for our Couples Course!
Pietromonaco, P. R., & Collins, N. L. (2017). Interpersonal mechanisms linking close relationships to health. American Psychologist, 72(6), 531–542. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000129